Author: Prairie Kid
Prairie Kid hails from Illinois, where he enjoys shucking satire and writing corn.
“Think of it this way: a person scrolling aimlessly through a Facebook feed has a lot in common with a blue whale feeding on krill, only we don’t have baleens to filter out the useless chaff.”
Here is a list of things Armie Hammer is not: Armie Hammer is not a pro wrestler. He’s definitely not a GI Joe villain or a Slovenian DJ, or a guy who plays checkers with Bernie Madoff in prison.
"For this piece,” Gordon said, changing tabs in Photoshop, “I have a piggy bank wearing one of those old-fashioned doctor headband things with the CD on it, except the piggy bank is a Republican elephant with this huge coin slot on its back so you can still tell it’s a piggy bank.”
What’s that—twenty years from the twentieth anniversary of this event sounds about right? It’s even more recent than you would have guessed?
Revisiting "Snow Day" in 2017 is illuminating, if a bit disappointing. Grind up your average family-friendly teen romance, season it with unsustainable 90s largesse and stuff it into commercial-grade casing, and you get this wonderfully escapist moralizing tale that says a lot more about the past than the future.
“To start with, we all know this film has the superior romantic subplot of all Star Wars films. What I see when I watch Attack of the Clones is a precocious teenage boy pursuing an older woman and winning her over, largely against her wishes and her better judgment. That looks like true love to me.”
Winter has fallen on the Midwest. Temps are dropping, snow is impacting travel, and the nights are at their longest. We find ourselves at an undeniably harder time of year, but also a more ruminatory one. Everyone agrees 2016 was a lot to swallow, now it’s time to digest it.
At this point I’m not interested in imagining some alternate timeline in which Bernie beat Hillary, or Hillary beat Trump, but politics aside, Trump’s election proves that the electoral system—which was designed to stop populist candidates from hijacking the government—is broken and must be reformed or reimagined.