Yesterday the popular startup Snapchat rolled out SnapRead, a new productivity application that promises to save users time and money.
The temptation to post a comment skewering this troglodyte is as enticing as Kobe beef. You have the brainpower, you have the 45 or so minutes it takes to commit to a Facebook argument, you have Snopes.com up and ready to prove them wrong, what’s there to lose?
The glock Tom Kennedy carries in a shoulder holster allows him to confidently escalate arguments that might normally be solved diplomatically, knowing that he could at any time kill the person he is arguing with.
“I wouldn’t be against taking in these refugees and setting their children to work in my salt mines below Trump Tower. I wouldn’t be against breaking them on the wheel for sport,” Trump added, twirling a blond handlebar moustache as false and ill-fitting as his toupée.
You’re all done listening to Nirvana. Well done! Now let’s move on to a visual medium. How about some Spongebob?
Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) is certainly no stranger to strategically-flippant responses. In response to a question on his tax policy, Senator Cruz said “There are more words in the IRS code than there are in the Bible, and not a one of them is as good.”
Straight White Male: “You Just Don’t Understand, This Would All Be So Much Easier if I Was a Woman, or Gay”
Citing the struggle of being an average, poor straight male in America as the root cause of all the problems in his life, Jackson native Duncan “Dunkster” Reynolds stated that most of life's difficulties would be resolved if he was instead a member of a marginalized group.